Making Assumptions
I just finished reading the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. My therapist was the one that recommended the chapter “Don’t make assumptions”. I decided I should just sit and read the whole thing. The four agreements are:
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don’t take things personally.
- Don’t make assumptions.
- Do your best.
Knowing nothing about this book going into it made it a strange read, especially given who introduced me to it. It was pretty spiritual and metaphorical. I still don’t know if I like that or if I found the message harder to parse with all the talk about life as a dream, living in hell/heaven and casting spells. I think the core agreements are a good, it seems like a way to free yourself from the burden of other people’s words and opinions of you, while also building your self confidence.
The part that I found was helpful and insightful for me especially was the part on not making assumptions… which is probably why my therapist recommended it.
My main takeaway is: I don’t know what people are living through, nor what they are thinking. It is odd for me to assume I know how everyone thinks, and how they will react to me. The best way to fight the ambiguity is not through assumptions but just with questions.I cannot read people, and they can’t read me, only an honest conversation can bring clarity.
Extrapolating further than the book’s message, this seems like a good way to build relationships. If I assume things, I will never actually get to know people, I have to ask them the “obvious” questions, and I will probably get surprising answers.
So do I recommend the book? … maybe. It is a short read, and maybe you’ll get different things out of it than I did. This little post is in no way all encompassing of the contents in the book, just a blurb mostly for future me to reference when I start assuming things about people :)